Showing posts from July, 2002
Read Me: "Still Life in Books"

Princesca of said: "Terri: Soy muy triste que sus cuentos de la biblioteca están acabados. Adiós, Princesa. PS: Pienso que su fotografía es muy linda!"
I don't know you're language, Princesca, but I'm getting a Spanish-English dictionary out of the local public library as soon as possible to work on a (very) rough translation. Thanks for your input, whatever it may turn out to be...
Estoy rodando en el suelo que ríe. Ha!

---- Principio del mensaje incluido ----
De: "Terrance"
Enviado:Wed, 24 May 2000 21:11:51 +1000
Asunto: The serious and the not so serious

> Finally, on a lighter note, I've been working over the past semester on a
> Great-Expectations-esque serial about working in a library. It's not
> finished yet, and I doubt if it ever will be, but I got some feedback on it
> from digital strangers. One person known only as 'Bruin' said it was crap and
> I should stop it - I kept going anyway - and another person, apparently from
> Peru, sent me a note in teh native language. Anyone read Spanish so I can
> translate it?
---- Fin del mensaje incluido ---
Allan's D&D Update:
We, uh, well this is going to be confusing...we'd been battling these demonic called rakshasas, you see, who were disguised as members of our party. We defeated them, but one of the dead rakshasas was the only person who knows where this secret meeting is about to take place -- a secret meeting that we need to get to in order to prevent a war from erupting between factions of the Empire. So, our party's shaman began chanting a spell to speak with the dead, in order for us to interrogate this rakshasa corpse. Unfortunately, before he could complete the spell, we were interrupted by an attack from a wizardly rakshasa who teleported in, conjured up several strange monsters, and left. These monsters tried to destroy the corpse so we couldn't talk to it, but we fought and killed them. So then, our shaman was again going to attempt to speak with the dead, but we wanted to make sure we were safe from further interruptions. So Alla…
Breastfeeding Ruth
The Herald- Zimbabwe News Online
Commonwealth Sports Awards Shifted
April 15, 2002

The Commonwealth Sports Awards scheduled for Harare, Zimbabwe in October have been moved to Manchester. Zimbabwe has been suspended from the Commonwealth Council and is being pressured to be suspended from the Commonwealth Games themselves over irregularities in the past election.

The Commonwealth Sports Awards are held to honor the excellent performances of athletes in the Commonwealth Games.
Zimbabwe going ahead with Commonwealth Games Plans
April 12, 2002

Though some nations are calling for Zimbabwe's exclusion from this years Commonwealth Games, and some in Zimbabwe are calling for a boycott of the games, Zimbabwe is moving forward with plans to participate and has named a general manager, Robert Mutsauki. Mr. Mutsauki was head of Zimbabwe's delegation to the last Commonwealth Games in Malaysia and the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Games.
Zimbabwe may boycott, or be banned from Commonwealth Games
April 7…
sem assunto!
> PS: Pienso que su fotografía es muy linda!
> (please que for a photgraph of my penis, love linda.
- Bob Marley

Every man gotta right
To decide his own destiny
And in this judgment
There is no partiality
So arm in arms, with arms
We will fight this little struggle
'Cause that's the only way
We can overcome our little trouble

Brother you're right, you're right
You're right, you're right, you're so right
We gonna fight, we'll have to fight
We gonna fight, fight for our rights

Natty dread it ina Zimbabwe
Set it up ina Zimbabwe
Mash it up ina Zimbabwe
Africans a liberate Zimbabwe

No more internal power struggle
We come together, to overcome
The little trouble
Soon we will find out
Who is the real revolutionary
'Cause I don't want my people
To be contrary


To divide and rule
Could only tear us apart
In everyman chest
There beats a heart
So soon we'll find out
Who is the real revolutionaries
And I don't want my people
To be tricked by mercenaries

Bill's Guide to Girls

Wear as many rings as possible. (This denotes affluence).

Always carry a spare handkerchief. (Unexpected messes can put some girls off).

Think of something clever to say at every opportunity.

Drink a lot to calm your nerves.

Don't trim ear or nose hair as this can be a turn-on for some girls.

Sweat a lot if you can - if you can't, it doesn't matter.

Buy a good book on the subject. (I can't think of one at the minute, but there must be one).

Pick your moment. Pub closing time is always good as most unattached females are getting a bit desperate by then.

Dress in the latest style - shell suits are big now of course. (Well mine is).

Put your own idea in this slot. (And let me know what it is by Friday if you can).

the Saumaster is graduating after completeing his bachelor of gynecology and dental surgery

University of Zimbabwe, P O Box MP167,

Mt Pleasant, Harare,


Tel: 263 4 303211
So Good to relive the Terrence and Princesa Tocalaroca Era!

Possible Princess of Peru
----- Original Message -----
From: "Princesa Tocalaroca"
Sent: Monday, May 22, 2000 6:02 PM
Subject: Re: "Still Life in Books"

Che floated down the Amazon on a raft he named the "Mambo-Tango" in
1952, as chronicled in his book "Latinoamericana: un diario per un
viaggio in motocicletta"

Your translation is very interesting, although you missed the most
interesting bit (at the end of the message -- clue: mensaje =

I wonder what Terrance will make of this? Will it have the desired effect,
of restoring his 21st-Century Canterbury Tales to its former glory?
Time will tell...

Viva la Revolution!!!


I am very sad that their stories of the library are finished.

Good bye,

PS: I think that its photography is very pretty!
The Financial Gazette
AllAfrica Global Media
Southern African Research & Documentation Centre(SARDC)
SADC Today(Southern African Development Community)
AIDS Control & Prevention Project(AIDSCAP)
Zimmediamulticultural film & video production company
Mama Africastories by 6 of Africa's most skilful and imaginative female filmmakers
ive been to the desert on a horse with no name...what is che doing in peru?
i translated it to the best of my ability fo r you who are espanol illeterato

> Terri:
> Soy (SOYA) muy (BEANS) triste (TASTE) que (VERY)sus
(SUSpicious).(FULL STOP MISSSING) Cuentos (LABIA) de
> están acabados.(STANS OPINIONS COUNT)
> Adiós,
> Princesa
> PS: Pienso (PENIS)que (VERY) su (LIKE)fotografía es
(A FOOTBALL) muy (BEAN) linda!
Who is this masked "bruin" of why does he always hurt the one he loves?
----- Original Message -----
From: "Princesa"
Sent: Viernes, 19 de Mayo de 2000
Subject: "Still Life in Books"


Soy muy triste que sus historias de la biblioteca están acabadas.



Picosegundo: Pienso que su fotografía es muy linda!

Mensaje enviado desde mail
Consigue gratis tu cuenta de correo electrónico en
Read Me: "Still Life in Books"

You've probably realised by now that it's not going to get finished. I did have an idea about where it was going. Someone was going to get shot. Try and guess who was going to shoot whom!

Instead of finishing, here's what the critics thought:
"bruin" of said "dear author of the library chronicles:
i dont like them, they dont amuse me, and i wish they would just go away"
Thanks for your input, "bruin".

No one else said anything.

It was amusing while it lasted...
The BBC Radiophonic Workshop: everyone's heard of them, no one knows what they do. Mark Sinker investigates Auntie's best-kept secret.

Six composers, too shy to make claims for themselves, go to make it up. But Brian Hodgson, who's worked with the BBC Radiophonic Workshop since the early 60s, and headed it since the mid-80s, is less reserved. You think about it, and you begin to wonder if this pioneering institution's secret effect on Britain's ears might not be huge. "It's likely," he says when asked, "that the first Electronic Music that most of today's composers heard they heard when they were listening to Listen With Mother. Composers will say, 'I wanted to get into electronic music because of Dr Who.' We've changed the way that people listen to things ..."

Dr Who you knew about: everyone knows they did that. But also Life On Earth, The Body In Question, dozens of documentaries - Horizons, Everymans, whatever - hard and so…
John Cage once asked the following questions "Will we ever get to where the ugly sounds are considered beautiful?" "If we drop beauty what have we got, have we got truth? Have we got a way to make money?" I would answer a resounding yes to the first question, don't know if there's such a thing to the second and a tenuous probably not, depends on how much you mean, to the last. And I would offer the music of The Fall as support for my answers. The Fall have definitely gone a long way towards my own acceptance and enjoyment of the ugly sounds as beautiful. I always flash on them when I think about Cage's questions. Mark E. Smith isn't rich but he's been able to continue putting out records for over 20 years. The only truth he seems concerned with is of a personal variety, one that exposes the lie of utopia that some would use as a pretext to increase control and eliminate individual dissent.

There are rarely any elements of obvious beauty in The F…
Take this simple quiz and find out. Simply check every answer that's true about you, and give yourself the number of points next to the question.

(1) _ "Ten Reasons A Beer Is Better Than A Woman"
(1) _ "Get A Job!" with one skeleton giving another a blowjob
(1) _ a bootleg shirt featuring cartoon characters doing something outlandishly out of character and/or saying something profane
(2) _ "One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!"
(2) _ "I'm not as think as you drunk I am"
(2) _ (in fuzzy letters) "MASTURBATION WILL TURN YOU BLIND"
(3) _ any college you did not actually attend
(3) _ any bar

(1) _ is an IROC
(1) _ is a Prowler
(1) _ has a very very loud stereo system
(1) _ has a horn that plays "The Theme From the Godfather"
(2) _ is a silver Prowler
(2) _ has sweet racing stripes
(2) _ has a Bad Boy/Yose…
Saucemaster references from around the world:

This is Saucemasters journal of a trip to Spain. "What could be more romantic than being in Europe all alone with nothing to burden you and no plans to tie you down? the answer: plenty. I kept notes" (pg1). Saucemaster tells of freezing his ass of waiting for trains, stores and museums that are closed despite the fact that there are open signs in the windows or the hours posted say they should be open, run ins with pickpockets, and of course wandering around lost looking for a hotel or at least a better map. The writing is chronological and suprisenly flowing I had a real problem putting this down and getting back to work, always a sign of a great zine. $? 3980 derby drive/ Cumming,Georgia/30130/USA

Re: signalized intersection safety DJ SauceMaster
Oct …
Read Me: "Still Life in Books"

A serial about working in a public library...

*Part the Second: A Poor Standard of Classification*

The door to the public space opened and Chuck the Counter Jockey stuck his
head inside.
"Has anyone seen a baseball cap left here recently?"
"I'll field this one," Sheila said to me. She got up and went outside, taking the cap from the book chute with her.
Outside Chuck indicated an anxious-looking, bespectacled woman who stood nearby. As soon as the woman saw the cap in Sheila's hand she sighed with visible relief.
"Thank you ever so much," she said to Sheila as the item was handed over.
"Where did you find it?"
"In the non-fiction shelves under 646," the Shelving Fairy joked. The woman smiled gratefully and thanked Sheila again, not having seen the amusing side of Sheila's comment.
As the woman left, Sheila felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. She turned to find the tall, dark and…
Sauce: yeah, I used to work on AltaVista (way back when it was cool :-), but babelfish technology was done by Systran. I think it assumes neuter gender for irregular nouns it doesn't recognize. BTW, I might still have all those "Still Life In Books" emails -- but unfortunately not the Princesa Tocalaroca ones (I don't think I BCC'd my real email address, and I've lost my password for We are taking a walk down memory lane, aren't we?
Web-Age Bullshit Generator
ICQ Chat Save file
Started on Sun Nov 07 16:24:20 1999

[Saucemaster] Here we go...
[Sausage Sizzle] what the fuck?
[Saucemaster] ??
[Saucemaster] ????
[Sausage Sizzle] tick tick tick boom
[Sausage Sizzle] wild wild west
[Saucemaster] what the fuck ?
[Saucemaster] wicky wicky wild
[Sausage Sizzle] bruin is a goon
[Saucemaster] wild wild
[Saucemaster] bruin ?
[Saucemaster] hang on read this:
[Sausage Sizzle] some abo from australia
[Saucemaster] ]]
[Saucemaster] ]] If ya like, but are you sure I'll fit in the bed
[Saucemaster] ]] with you and peter and ryan
[Saucemaster] ]] ?I WAS JOKING DV8
[Saucemaster] Oh sure, like you were joking when you tried to get photos of
me in the
[Saucemaster] shower with your mum!
[Saucemaster] ]] ]SLEEP DEPRIVED, I NEED …
Does anyone have any old copies of "Still Life in Books" ?? I wanted to relive the Terrence experience
Fuck, maybe your right. I just used AltaVista to do it for me....hay didn't you work on that once?
I believe you should use the masculine "der Saucemeister" rather than the neuter/plural "das"? -- unless that would be giving away your secret identity :-)
The Olympic Games has not seen such stirring homoerotic imagery since they were held in Ancient Greece...
Das saucemaster ist nicht für das gelegentliche Fischstäbchen oder sogar einen trampoline Mann nachteilig.
Ich arbeite an der Wurstfabrik, sein großer Spaß.
Neverwinter Nights
NWScript on-line forum at BioWare
script university at Neverwinter Vault
nX: the Neverwinter Nights code eXchange
dedicated Linux server
The (ex-) trampoline guy is Jeff. Kalvinder is Kaspar's biggest fan...
Sauce forgets, is Kal the trampoline guy?

Looks like Tony S(chnyder) has the same slot as Kaspar, but on Tuesday - I'm in Schnyder-heaven
Looks like he is on 1pm on Mondays - I will rely on you to tape some highlights for Kal & me...
Unfortunately I can only listen to 4ZZZ on weekends, when I am in BrisVegas -- what time is he on?
Oh my hat, its Kaspar!
The sauce was informed last week that Kaspar is once again on Triple ZZZ; listen for your own enjoyment but do not attempt to try and understand
can you believe somone has already got the username saucemaster..........fuckin ignorant little school kids